JULIJA RUART

Even though I have other outputs for creative expression, there is a certain something I can only get through writing. Every time I go through a period where I shy away from it, there is an underlying feeling that something important is missing.

I’ve struggled my whole life with conveying my opinions freely. This stems from an overly critical upbringing where I was emotionally punished for expressing anything that wasn’t within the lines of what was considered acceptable. Since most of my interests and viewpoints didn’t align with the conservative environment I grew up in, I felt like the majority of who I am had to stay hidden.

Writing helped me get back my confidence

Allowing myself to write freely about some of my deepest struggles and sharing everything online, where it’s accessible to literally anyone, was a huge deal for me. It took me a long time to get to that place. Even quite far into having it as part of my regular practice, it would continue to feel uncomfortable.

Although I still get insecure and doubtful about what I share, there has been an enormous positive influence of this practice on me.

I have proved to myself that I have every right to express my opinion, no matter what it is.
I have proved to myself that there is a space for my voice in this world and that it matters equally as everyone else’s.
I have learned that people rarely actually care about what you have to say – if they even listen – which makes it silly to worry so much, and sabotage ourselves in something as vital for our health as expressing ourselves truthfully.
I have regained back so much of the confidence lost somewhere along the road.

Most of all, I have, and still am, shaping my own unique voice in this world that helps me navigate this life. By writing, I get to reflect on my thoughts more easily and discover which ones of those are true to me, and which ones are only borrowed from people around me. Consequently, I’m left with more clarity over what I want and more confidence in my ability to achieve those things.

Sometimes gaining clarity about what it is we truly need and want is the biggest part of the work. How can we get anywhere intentionally, unless we see where it is that we want to go?



Dialogue is essential for growth

I used to worry so much about whether or not my opinions were ‘right’. Who am I to so boldly share something that might be yet another ignorant viewpoint? Does this world need more of those?

Over time I realized it’s not about the world being rid of ‘wrong’ or ignorant opinions. We actually need those in order to reflect on our own opinions and beliefs, so that we can strengthen, or dispose of them.

The issue lies in attaching our identity to certain beliefs and ideas. Then, when someone expresses a viewpoint that differs from our own, we think they are attacking us personally.
We are being taught and enforced to do this through our upbringing. We are given a set of beliefs early in our life, and with it a sense of identity. The stronger your sense of identity is, we were told, the stronger you are. If you differ from it, you will be punished in one way or another.

How can we ever question, change and grow, if our sense of worth is attached to a certain belief system? Do we have a capacity to lead a dialogue in these conditions, so crucial for moving forward, both individually and collectively?

The way we speak matters

There is a difference between how things are being said when coming from people who don’t have their identity attached to beliefs, and those who aren’t so open-minded.

There is a certain lightness in words that come from an individual who understands how everything is, and should be, left to an individual interpretation.

On the other hand, the voices of people with identities tied to their beliefs carry a dose of heaviness. It’s the judgment, finger-pointing, and shaming that radiate from their words, aimed at all those who might dare to disagree. There is that awful, constricting, and detrimental ‘you should’ that lingers in the air whenever they speak. That is why often when they communicate something that you might even agree with, there is an underlying feeling how something is off, how you don’t actually like what they say. It’s the energy behind the words.

Responsible living is when freedom is the focus

We communicate equally, if not to a bigger extent, through the energy and emotions we put into our words.

If we speak from the heart, intending to free and build our voice, there is no reason for doubt or fear of doing something wrong or spreading ignorance.

You are not being irresponsible by sharing statements that might not be the most relevant. After all, we are all humans – and with that comes not such a small chance of making stupid conclusions daily. The danger lies in believing that those around you should share the same viewpoints, or worse – forcing and manipulating them into doing so.

It is extremely responsible and important for an individual to express who they are so that they can hear an echo of their words in order to reflect, and then attune the frequency of their voice. It’s the path of growth. The path towards clarity.

You are not misguiding anyone, because, before anything else, you are guiding yourself.



Free expression paves a path toward our potential

The more we allow ourselves to express stupid ideas, the easier it is to let go of them.

Our culture is so heavily oriented towards speaking ‘the right’ thing, leaving practically no room for any variation. We might think we are reinforcing freedom and equal rights for all, but a place where we cast away and shame those who express a different opinion will only strenghten a deeply ingrained fear of speaking our truth.

Having no room to express ourselves honestly doesn’t prevent a culture – or an individual – from doing a ‘wrong’ thing. Instead, it eliminates the possibility of exploring ourselves consciously and building ourselves intentionally into the person we want to be, based on our past experiences, and intuitive guidance.

We need to understand why something is the right thing to say or do, and the only way to get to thay place is through free expression and exploration of our ideas.

True and sustainable change has to have internal roots.

If everyone could easily and freely say their ideas, without being judged and shamed for it, we would create an environment where ideas and beliefs live on their own, without being perceived as an indicator of one’s value and place in this world. There would be no internal motivator to stick so tightly to certain beliefs, and we would easily let go of stupid ideas and choose those that benefit us all more.

We would finally let everyone breathe freely.


Truth doesn’t need anything external attached to it in order to get to the right place. Only statements that lack real substance need to be reinforced with additional baggage to play tricks with our submissive minds, so that it can get what it needs.

So speak, create, and live from your heart. Fearlessly, and lightly. A mistake that comes from the heart is not a mistake at all. It’s a cornerstone of truth.

A way of building, and unfolding yourself through trial and error – the only possible way to establish something of long-term quality.

So do some justice to your heart and soul, and let your voice flow.