With everyone using the word ego to explain or justify any behaviour that’s less than optimal, it’s easy to start to perceive it as the ultimate evil.
Everything that was given to us, every part of us, has some role to play. The key is to find the purpose behind it and the best way to utilise it.
Negative connotations of the word ego can create confusion and a belief that doing things for oneself is harmful for everyone.
But isn’t the person who knows there is more to who they are, and goes deep to uncover that, the most beneficial way for both the individual and society to thrive?
Instead of trying to get rid of our ego, wouldn’t it be wiser to let go of certain ways it expresses itself, while keeping and cultivating the ones that are helpful?
The overlooked negative trait of our ego
What’s meant by ‘toxic ego’, in general terms, is the intention for self-benefit at the expense of others.
However, there is another negative trait of our ego that we often overlook.
It’s the obsessiveness with the self that manifests not as the hunger for feeding narcissistic tendencies, but as a way to deepen our self-absorbed misery.
This manifests as an individual who lives in a bubble where everything around him serves as evidence of how small he is.
His focus is primarily on what he lacks.
He reframes the reality around him so that it fits his self-image and beliefs tied to it.
His days are intoxicated with self-pity.
He believes he is unique in his doubts and insecurities.
His struggles appear to be the largest and life seems more unfair towards him than the others.
Fears and insecurities are the driving force of his life, and he is the passenger in the back seat, just passively observing.
Any thought of the possibility of something more being available to him is dismissed instantly.
New endeavours are approached with a firm mindset of already knowing that he’ll fail. Like a badly done scientific research, where the scientist, instead of unbiasedly observing the facts that arise, enters the experiment stubbornly looking for the evidence for answers he assumed.
Destiny vs choice
How can an individual unlock their hidden potential if they can’t lift their gaze from their weaknesses and focus on their strengths instead?
If we actively seek out proof of not being good enough, how do we expect we’ll be able to see anything else?
Continually choosing to pay attention and highlighting only those sides of us that we perceive as our shortcomings is a path that leads to misery and an unfulfilled life.
We aren’t being modest.
We are hiding behind the fear of uncertainty and discomfort that comes with taking up space and showing up in our full capacity.
Our destiny isn’t to stay at the place where we are.
It’s our choice.
At any moment, we have an option to either settle for wherever we are, or begin to invest in those things that call us from somewhere deep within.
The ego worth cultivating
Every individual has something of value to offer.
A trait of geniusness they were born with.
The trick is that it takes some skill to detect it and time to dig it out.
The tools required are patience, persistence, a perceptive eye, and an unbiased mind.
The ego I’m referring to is who we become when we allow ourselves to embrace the idea of possessing some great value.
It’s that voice inside of us that tells us there is a place in this world reserved just for us.
There are unique gifts of great importance that only we carry.
And once we step confidently into the whole person that we are, the world feels lighter and safer.
The ego worth cultivating is the one that recognises your value, and the importance of what you have to say and what you can do. It removes doubts, quiets your fears, and eliminates all other obstacles to create space for the best in you to come out.
What is being lifted up isn’t just an individual at hand, but society at large.
This ego understands that a single person dedicated to uncovering the greatness they carry within is the source of a chain reaction for personal growth in those around them as well.
And progress in multiple individuals sums up as an advancement in the community and society.
The missing thread
All change has to originate inside of us for it to be sustainable and long-lasting.
Unless we recognise how it’s only we who can move us, we risk spending a lifetime waiting for someone or something to give us approval.
The missing thread that connects everything is personal responsibility.
If you were given gifts that can benefit those around you, then it’s your responsibility to use them.
If you sensed peace, belonging, and purpose like never before when engaging in that certain something, then it’s your responsibility to find courage and to work on developing your mindset, so that it supports you in unlocking your potential.
Nature doesn’t waste resources. You wouldn’t be given those desires and gifts, if there wasn’t value behind them.
Cultivate an ego that recognises the importance of the gifts you carry and your place in the world.
Commit yourself to doing what’s necessary to stay away from doubts and insecurities, and readjusting your focus on uncovering your individual potential.
What holds more honour than to seek justice for the life that was given to you,
by acting dutifully to the nature within you,
and not trying to be someone else, instead work on becoming more of yourself.
Practical ideas to help you unlock your potential
1 Nobody starts by being great
Observe the beginnings of people you admire. No matter how great they are now, if you get access to the first pieces of work they produced, you’ll be able to see how everyone is bad at what they do at the beginning.
2 Don’t try to escape your insecurities – learn how to manage them
If you pay attention to very successful people, you’ll notice how they aren’t rid of insecurities, they just learned how to deal with them.
They know what’s at stake if they submit to fears, so they learned how to simply walk past those thoughts and readjust their focus back on their vision and goals.
3 Name your fears
Identify disasters that can happen if you pursue the thing that is calling you, if you follow your passion, speak your truth, and be who you are.
Now, try to imagine how you will feel 10 years from now if you are still hiding behind your fears and have never tried to do what you want.
Which one seems scarier?
4 Observe the work of people you admire
Are the people whose work you admire the only ones in the niche, absolute geniuses, and highly original in what they do? Or are there many others who create similar work?
Why do you choose to select them from the rest of the people in their field?
Despite many other options, we are specifically drawn only to certain people. We choose their work because there is something about it that simply resonates with us.
The totality of who we are is what shows up in our work and makes it unique. The amalgamation of our natural gifts, desires, pains, and life experiences is what creates our work like no other. That is the reason why some people will resonate with it more, despite the myriad of similar options out there.
You don’t need to be perfect, have some crazy original idea, or be a prodigy of some kind. Just bring out more of who you are in whatever you do.
You are worth the time and effort it takes to tap into your potential.
